Women 101: Christmas Gifts - What the Heck Do They Want?

Women 101: Christmas Gifts

What the Heck Do They Want?

December's here, Black Friday's past, and if you haven't figured out what you're gal wants for Christmas, you're probably panicking by now. Stop, take a deep breath, and let's go over a few of the panic attacks you may have had so far.

1. The Broken Wallet Syndrome
Everyone knows this time of year can be really hard on the wallet. One of the many misconceptions about Christmas time is that women want something exceedingly expensive and shiny. Not true. If you're with a woman with character, they aren't going to be looking for a material object so much as something that shows you care. Instead of thinking about cost, think about meaning. What would mean most to her? Christmas shouldn't be about the item so much as showing you care. Women actually do like the sentiment "It's the thought that counts."

2. The Bigger the Better
Granted, every girl would probably love a new car for Christmas. But that's improbable at best, and sometimes bigger isn't better. Consider the small things you notice about her. Does she love a certain brand of lotion? Does she collect something? Is she a super-tv nerd for a certain show? Find something related to what you see her doing in everyday life. For example, if she loves to cook, get her a unique mixer and a cute apron. A sci-fi fan? Get her a blanket or neat t-shirt from her favorite show. Show her you pay attention to what she likes in life.

3. More Is Better
Similar to the Broken Wallet Syndrome, sometimes you think "they want more, right?" Wrong. Sure, a ton of presents is cool, but really, only small kids freak out about how many they get a year. What matters is that you got a gift for her because you care. It shouldn't feel like an obligation or a burden. Don't think that you have to buy out Victoria's Secret to make a girl happy.

4. Equal or Lesser Value
So you're girl has warned you she already knows what she's getting you and it sounds expensive. And you think "I need to get something equal in value!" Well, you don't. First off, you probably don't know exactly how much your gift is worth, and why should you freak out about it anyways? It's a gift, not an exchange! So they may be spoiling you once, it's not a bad thing. Be concerned with making the gift matter because of what it means to you and to her, not what the price tag says its worth.

5. Total Meltdown
They are NOT going to break up with you because you didn't find the perfect Christmas gift. If they do, they aren't doing t well on the whole "It's the thought that counts" thing and it might have been for the best. Don't worry about whether or not the gift is perfect. If it came from you, she'll love it. If it is well meant, she'll love it anymore. Just purchasing a thoughtful gift shows you care.


In Summary-

Think about Christmas gifts as a way to show you care. Make the gift mean something to you and to her. A great way to do this is think of one of your favorite memories about you to and get a gift related to that. Do you remember a movie you both loved? Wrap it up and share it again, and tell her why you love it so much and why it reminded you of her. Do she have a signature quirk, like wearing neon socks or candy shaped earrings? A pair of those would do it. Is her favorite way to relax a bottle of wine, chocolate, and a romance novel? Make up a basket of the goodies and hide it under the tree. Maybe she has a favorite stuffed animal... hey, why not hit up Build A Bear and make her one? You'll get points for surviving the shop and making her something cute.

The point is, gifts should be about meaning, not price tag or ideal worth. It's all about your own feelings and how to show them. Make the gift sentimental and sweet. Don't worry about the jewelry box commercials...there's more important things than shiny rocks.

Rules About Women: The Friend Zone Saga

The Friend Zone Saga

I've heard a lot of stories about the dreaded Friend Zone. Its a common, nightmarish problem all my guy friends seem to have had. They like a girl, they'd love to date her, but unfortunately, that girl is their best friend. Well. Crap. Or worse, they like a girl, she seems to like them, but just "as a friend." Double crap. So how does one avoid, escape, and overcome the Friend Zone? Buckle up, it may not be an easy ride.

First things first, you need to know that sometimes, the girl really does just want to be friend's. It happens. So, word of advice, if you're trying and it isn't working, don't pine after someone who isn't interested, it wastes your time and theirs. But, if there's a shot, if your attempts are getting some positive feedback, then by all means, let's help you win the girl.

Now, there are two phases of the Friend Zone. The first is the easiest to assist with, and that is simply the Avoidance Phase. Basically, you like a girl, you want to date the girl, but you're worried you'll end up Friend Zoned. The second is the more difficult phase to overcome, and that is you actually being in the Friend Zoned.

Today we will focus on the first phase.

Chapter One

Avoiding the Friend Zone

It isn't as easy as it sounds. Girls don't usually want to date a guy they know nothing about or have only met a few times. If anything, they won't really want to date someone unless you're at least an acquaintance, maybe a friend of their friend. Any good, lasting relationship requires you actually getting to know the person, just as you would with a friend. How many times do you hear happily married women say, "I married my best friend."? Quite a lot, my grandmother tells me that all the time. Women don't want to marry someone who won't end up being their "best friend," so to speak. So how do you avoid becoming Friend Zoned, while still building the friendship girls want in their future significant other?

Firstly, you need to be around. Don't sit there in the shadows watching her flirt with other guys. Helloooooo that's competition! Tease her, flirt with her, engage in conversation! Don't be a wallflower, be someone who makes her life entertaining and fun even when you AREN'T dating! This is what we call Creating Potential. How much Potential does a wallflower have? None. Ever notice how Lois Lane went for Superman, the guy who was around and not Clark Kent, the guy always running off and hiding behind his glasses? Yep. I know, a cheesy analogy, but true. 

Secondly, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT become her guy advice. Some guys seem to think if they give her advice that they somehow clue her in that "hey, I like you." Yeah, no. If she's asking you for advice, and not some other guy for advice, then nine times out of ten, she's asking about someone else. Girls don't generally make it that easy for the guy to know what they want. That'd be like handing you a step by step manual on how to ask her out, and women don't work like that, no matter how nice it'd be for both parties. If you're giving out advice about men, you're getting into Friend Zoned material. 

Thirdly, you need to show her you're interested in more than just looks and "The One Thing." I can guarantee that when a girl first goes out with you and starts hanging out with you, she's looking to hear what exactly you are interested in. If you're always talking about sex, the other girl down the street, or the usual guy talk we expect, you'll be Friend Zoned. Why? Because while she may think you're cute and nice enough, clearly you're thinking about other women and other things and not her. So ask her about her day. Comment about how she looks. Get involved with her. The easiest way to avoid being set aside for someone else is to show you don't want anyone else. Don't talk about other girls, talk about her. Find out what she likes and make it a habit to bring it up, or better yet, show up with her favorite coffee or the book she keeps talking about. Know what something like that could be? A good way to ASK HER OUT!

Fourthly and finally, don't take forever to ask her out. Interest is fleeting. You need to build a little bit of a friendship, enough so that she knows you and knows you happen to like her (if not the like sort of like, yet.) and then you need to buck up and ask her out. If you take forever to ask her out, she thinks you're perfectly okay with the way things are and you aren't planning on asking her out. That's when you become Friend Zoned and she is A-Okay with looking at other guys. Don't wait until you're too good of friends. You've heard the line "I don't want this to ruin anything between us." Yeah, that's a sign that you got too good at being friends with her, and she doesn't want to lose a friend, because we all know that relationships can end badly. So you need to be enough of a friend for her to like you, but not one of the friends she counts as "super close." 

So there ya go, four steps to help you avoid being Friend Zoned. Remember, girls are not carbon copies. This won't work on them all. You may need more steps, you may need less, you may find some steps of your own. Some relationships just aren't meant to be, so don't get down in the dumps if you're dream girl wants to be friends. If anything the most important thing to remember is that getting to know the girl is important, and also, if you don't have the courage to ask her out, it'll never happen and you'll end up having to settle for being Friend Zoned.

Relationship Gone Flat? Keep It Spontaneous.

For a friend. I hope this helps.

Is your relationship getting...predictable?

 

Predictable?! Gasp! Not that! That word could very well start you down the road of panic. But take a breath, predictable isn't always a bad thing, and it's easily resolved.

 

So, why isn't it a bad thing? Provided you're "predictable" when it comes to pros, like always keeping in contact, setting up dates, and the way you act being polite and sweet, etc. then it is A-Okay. But, that doesn't mean you should always be predictable. No one wants a relationship that can't keep them guessing. If it hits a slow stage, then shake it up.

 

How Do I Do It?

Simple enough, do something that they don't expect. As always, spontaneity is imperative. Think of something you haven't done before or in a long while.

 

Easy Peasy:

 

A few simple examples? If you're one for texting and don't see them in the morning, send a good morning text. Make it cute or sweet.

 

If you know she likes the outdoors, take her out for a romantic walk. Maybe go outside of the city park- find a nearby state park or head off the beaten path.

 

Indoors gal? Curl up with a movie and popcorn at home. Surprise her with the invitation to come over!

 

 

If your go to is a movie-dinner deal, try something like skating, a picnic, maybe even a trip out of town.

 

Know they're busy at work? Randomly bring in flowers, surprise them at work with chocolates and a visit for lunch.

 

Long Story Short...

Basically...You know them, you know what they like, so work with it. Just make it a surprise, and make it a little different than the usual. But don't get too unpredictable. Knowing what to expect at least sometimes gives a relationship some solid ground. It's just important you remember to change the pace on occasion.

 



Rules About Women: Communication is Key

Let's Get One Thing Straight-

"FINE"...that one word, and you know you've done something wrong. It's been asked for years, why can't women just say things flat out? Well, guys, since when do you? There seems to be a habit of letting communication run dry and situations build until BAAAAM, you hear that one word. Most of the time, it could have been avoided.

 

 

What Does It Mean?

You both need to communicate. There are times when things best left said go unsaid. We all know them. That one thing you know will upset them if you say. That one touchy subject... If you let it alone, you may just end up having one heck of an argument.

 

How Do I Do It?

If you know communication is an issue, sorry to say it, but you need to start talking. Approach subjects delicately, but approach them. Don't just skirt around the edges. Tell her "Hey, we need to talk." and so it some place private- it's no one else's business. Make sure to let her know that its important, and yeah, they may think it's a break up, but clarify it isn't. Talk to them honestly and straight forward.

 

My biggest advice is this; Talk, but also LISTEN! Communication only works if both sides of the party talk to each other and are heard. Otherwise, you may as well be talking to a brick wall and vice versa. Remember that you're going to have to compromise and work towards better communication.



Memorial Day: The Soldier's Prayer

For those who bear the burden of defending our freedom...

How many men and women do you know who have worn a uniform sporting the American Flag?  My father, my grandfather, my uncle, and one day perhaps myself or my children. This country was built by the soldiers of the continental army and is protected by their successors.  Whether you agree or disagree with the military or the current agenda, remember that these men and women serve not only for theirs, but for your freedom. They fight across oceans to protect us so that we can dare to have our own opinions. So, today take a moment to remember those who have served and still serve this great nation and thank them for the many freedoms they protect.

 

For those who serve and have served, I thank you for that. I wish you all protection from here at my little computer desk. It is because of you and your efforts that I can choose to write my blog and speak freely. Thank you for protecting us and taking the burden of protecting freedom into your arms.

 

These words come from Psalm 91. They were recited by the 91st Infantry Brigade in WW1. The 91st survived three of the bloodiest battles of that war and it is said they did not suffer a single casualty. May they protect you as well as you serve your country and her people. I hope they reach you with the prayers and wishes of your loved ones and that they remind all of us here at home what you have gone through and what our predecessors fought for.

 

 

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”
 

From all those here at home, we love you, and we are praying for your safety and for your safe return.

Thank you.

Rules About Women: A Little Goes A Long Way

Rules About Women: A Little Goes A Long Way

For when you're not really sure what she's thinking...

They like knowing you are thinking about them. Go out of your way to show them that. Don't assume they know, even if they do. A little proof goes a long way.

What Does it Mean?
It means taking time out of your day to show you care.

How Do I Do It?
Bring home flowers one day, maybe a stuffed animal or romantic comedy if that's more her speed. Tell her to put her feet up, enjoy a glass of wine, and cook her a nice meal. If you can't cook, order out and bring it home. Make the time personal, which means no loud restaurants, no movie theaters, no overly public places where everyone and their mother can see you. Take a break from a typical date night. Sometimes it's nice for the girl to be shown off on your arm, but there are days when they just want some personal care time with you. Other times, they'd really just love a neck rub, some spaghetti and wine, and a little time spent on the couch talking with you.

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